Women Want More
I rushed to the city the other day because one of my girlfriends was in trouble. I could sense it over the text. I have this knack for knowing, always have and probably always will. I got there and held her hand immediately because my senses were tingling. Well, I was right. It was a breakup. It was written all over her face. That part wasn’t what got to me though. It was the reason why she left him. She wanted more in life and he didn't. I spoke to her and behind the pages of my memory, I started remembering different women in my life who have stood in the same spot echoing the same thing:
" He’s fine where he is. But I want to do this and that, I want to travel, have a career and be someone important".
Women always want more out of life. I've never met a woman who didn't. You'd think older women would have slower gears in the pursuit of attainment, but no. It just minimises to a smaller scale. Young women on the other hand? Nothing can stop us. The women in my life have always been go-getters. There have been some who aren't as proactive in instigation but the seed of want has always been dormant inside. They sit before me in cafes playing with hands and looking down. They try to conceal their eagerness but you can vibe it. They’ve been imagining and seeking and doing secret research in the dead of night. Women are visualisers and sensualists. We are also logical and realistic too. We know that if we don't initiate the first move, nothing will ever happen. The woman lies supine at night inspecting the gaps in her life, imagining if things were different, comparing herself to the ' have it all ' women. What do they have that she doesn't? The hours go by, she's still lying there imagining, thinking, wondering. She simply cannot recline into mediocrity
When that moment arrests us as we survey the breadth and depth of our lives, we can’t help but imagine what it would be like ‘on the other side’. For my friend, it was a man that was standing in her way. But for the rest of us, the barricade could be a myriad of other things. Our courses at uni, a parent, a friend, a certain held belief that prevents us from breaking free. There’s always more on the other side of now. Women always want more out of life. The constraints of history have been bound around our arms for too long. When we get a moment of inspiration or insight, we want to take it as far as we can. To prove, to remind or to shock.
Why is it so much more significant when a woman wants more than when a man does? Because it’s harder for women. It always has been but hopefully that won’t be the case forever.
You’ve heard that saying before, a woman has to do things twice as better or twice as loud as a man in order for the world to hear or to notice. It’s not just in the workplace, it’s in life. No wonder there are so many bold women in all industries of the world. From entertainment to business and to just the circles of women that surround our lives. They’re the ones I always look up to, who I aspire to be. The ones who aren’t afraid to make themselves heard and to ask for more from life because they know they deserve it.
I’m glad that my friend realised that she deserved more out of life and identified what was stopping her. As women, we all deserve more. We deserve it because we want it.
Words by Yalei Wang
Image by Anna Elizabeth